It’s been over a week since I wrote A Father on Paper ~ Part One.
I thought I had a lot of thinking to do, a decision to make. It finally occurred to me that I was thinking way too much, and had built a whole something out of essentially nothing.
All I really needed to decide was whether I would make contact with an old friend of my fathers. That was it, that is all I have control of. Whether I make contact.
I had made an assumption that if I made contact, she would instantly alert my father, then he would either want to make contact with me, or reject me again. My brain swirled with ‘what ifs’ ; Would I see him if he wanted to see me? How hurt would I be if he didn’t want to see me? What if he wanted to be part of his granddaughters life? What if he didn’t? I admit, I completely blew the situation out of proportion.
The thing is, she might not even be in contact with my father any more. She might not necessarily even tell him anything about me, if they are still in contact. Why have I been stressing myself out over a whole heap of things that haven’t even nearly happened yet? Do I need to decide right now, how I would react to every possible scenario?
No. All I need to decide is if I want to make contact with someone I was close to over a period of time when I was a child. Why complicate everything now? If something leads from making contact with her, well then I may have some more thinking to do, more decisions to make. Today I only have one decision.
I think she would be really pleased to hear from me. It’s that simple. xx