It is with a little sadness, but much excitement, that I say goodbye to The Hesitant Housewife and introduce “Almost Jane.”
I have been writing as The Hesitant Housewife since 2011, so it does feel strange to be letting go of what really felt like part of my identity. Regular readers will know that my hand was somewhat forced, after a pornography site popped up, also called ‘Hesitant Housewife’. Awkward.
At first I was so upset about having to ‘rebrand’, I am not great with change. However, as the new site slowly began to take shape, I started to realise that perhaps it was time to move on. When I first started The Hesitant Housewife, Milla was just a baby, and my blog was about chronicling the life that lead to my ‘happily ever after’. As if that was the end of the story. Three years later, and we have found ourselves adjusting to living with a child on the Autism Spectrum. My life has taken yet another twist, and as one chapter ends, we are thrown head first into the next. Turns out ‘happily ever after’ is not the finish. For me it is a whole new story, but this time with someone to hold my hand during the scary parts.
The title, “Almost Jane”, leads from my previous tagline, “The journey from who I was, to who I am and who I want to become.” I know how cliche it sounds, but at almost 34 years old, I am truly still trying to find myself. I have always felt defined by other peoples opinions of me. I was the daughter who was never good enough. The ditzy blonde friend who played dumb because that’s what people expected. The girlfriend/wife who was useless and stupid. The ex-wife who was a bitch and unbalanced. The serial girlfriend who jumped from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. The damaged woman who lived a double life; capable coordinator by day and drunk and self-harming by night.
So many layers to peel away, to find who I really am.
And now the babushka dolls make more sense, don’t they?
I am a work in progress. My history does not define me. Some days that is harder to believe that than other days. I am almost Jane…