Finding Jane ~ Part One.

A few months ago I wrote a post about how much I often missed the old ‘me’ that I was before becoming a mother.

And then I did nothing.

I continued to slob around in pj pants, or trackie pants on a good day. I spend days at a time without leaving the house, especially with the wet Winter weather. On the weekends when we would all go out as a family, I would often realise after we left that I hadn’t even brushed my hair. I would tell myself that it didn’t matter, I was just Milla’s mum. A mum, a housewife. I defined myself by the roles that I played. I buried “Jane” so deep, that I almost accepted that she didn’t exist anymore.


A few weeks ago I started a yoga class. All of the sudden I had an hour and a half to myself on a Saturday morning, where I wasn’t a mother, I wasn’t a wife. I was Jane. Admittedly, “Jane” is awful at yoga. However, I wanted to try. I wanted to improve. I wanted to be good at something. A spark was ignited.

Suddenly I cared. I cared enough to do something. I gave myself an almighty kick in the arse. It’s not enough to just moan about about ‘missing me’.  Do something woman!!!

I posted on my Facebook page about wanting to make a change, and a discussion ensued. It appears that so many of us ‘mums’ are feeling the same. Justine from Total Image Solutions left a comment on my post, “I hear you, I work with women all the time who feel the way you do. I became an image consultant primarily to help women get their self esteem and confidence back on top and am happy to say I am one of them! “

After having a look at the Total Image Solutions website, I was surprised. Some of the services offered included Colour consultations, Style and Body Shape consultations and personal shopping, along with complete head to toe make overs. I honestly thought this kind of thing was just for celebrities or wannabe celebrities. Reading more about Justine, I learned that she was also a mother, and had struggled with her new body shape and image after having children.

A quote that really stood out to me was this ~ “It’s time to accept your body the way it is, and focus on the positives rather than the negatives”  Yes. It’s time. I have had a baby. My body is not the same as it was two years ago. I have to accept that. But really, don’t I owe “Jane” more than just giving up? It’s only a small part of who I am, but if I can find a way to be comfortable in this skin, I really think it will give me confidence to make improvements in the rest of my life. Like yoga sparking that little flame of “Jane” again, a ‘make over’ of sorts can only serve to fan that flame. I can be a mum and a wife and still be Jane. I will be. My husband and daughter deserve the whole me. Not just a mother. Not just a wife. But Jane, a mother, a wife, a woman.

I took the plunge and contacted Justine from Total Image Solutions. Tomorrow, she is coming over to my house to give me a Colour consultation and a Style and Body Shape consultation. We will then have a chat about my lifestyle and what kind of styles I like. I have already booked a hairdresser appointment for my birthday on Friday, so Justine will also help me choose a hair style/colour that suits my features best.

After we have determined what styles best suit me, we will make another appointment to go shopping and Justine will help me choose out a few outfits that suit my ‘style’ and ‘budget’ (So we’re talking Target, Big W etc)

And then – here’s the kicker; I will wear them!! I will take pride in my appearance again, I will make an effort, I will flame the spark of ‘Me’ I have ignited, and I will find “Jane”. It will be a slow process, clothes don’t make the person, but it’s the first step towards respecting the woman I am now. Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Jane.

I am terrified, nervous, excited. An image makeover?? This is so far out of my comfort zone. But hey, whilst I’m at it, may as well share it with all of you! This is the first of three posts. I will fill you in on how the consultation goes, how the process works. Then there will be the shopping trip. There will be photos. Yes there will be before and after shots. Yes, you will see me in my uniform of trackies and a hoodie. Yes, I will be embarrassed to share that photo. But after two years, I am ready. I want, no, I need, a change. A big one. So lets do this! xx

Me. Right now.

*DISCLAIMER* I am receiving the services from Total Image Solutions in return for writing about them on my blog. I approached Justine and proposed this arrangement, as I genuinely feel that it could benefit my readers to see what services there are available that can assist with finding and defining your personal style. I really feel this is relevant, particularly after discussions with many of my readers who are struggling to define their identity after becoming a mother.

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11 comments on “Finding Jane ~ Part One.

  • Elephant's Child , Direct link to comment

    I will be fascinated to follow this journey with you. So inspiring to all women, even if it is more than a little frightening.
    I admire your courage in taking this first very big step.

  • Tracey @ Bliss Amongst Chaos , Direct link to comment

    Oh I’m hearing you!
    It is so much easier to forget who we were ‘before’, and use the ‘at home being a mum’ excuse to not worry about ourselves. I went through a stage recently where I looked absolutely dreadful everywhere I went. Then one day I looked at myself in the rear vision mirror and was actually embarrassed. It was like a switch was flicked! I suddenly thought ‘How would I want to be looking if I accidentally bumped into an ex somewhere? How would I feel if I bumped into them looking like this? Worse still, if they were with their wife/partner!’ I would seriously have been mortified! So I decided that I was better than that, I deserved better than that, and I’m attractive and owe it to myself to look so!
    So now, I try and put make up on most days and get out of the tracky. It has made me feel better about myself as a result.
    Best of luck, and looking forward to reading how it all goes!
    Tracey @ Bliss Amongst Chaos recently posted…Photo A Day August ~ Day 19My Profile

    • Hesitant Housewife , Direct link to comment

      Thanks Tracey. That’s exactly how I felt when I saw the ‘Before’ picture of myself, (in the next post) I am really embarrassed! To think I’ve been walking around looking like that in public, and not even caring… Am very excited to go shopping for my new wardrobe :)
      Hesitant Housewife recently posted…Finding Jane ~ Part Two.My Profile

  • Bra Queen , Direct link to comment

    That is awesome! Good luck :-)

    It’s funny isn’t it when we look back and long for life prior to kids and sometimes you do lose yourself in Motherhood but you’ve taken the first step to finding yourself. You will just continue to grow from and grow.

    Bra Queen recently posted…WELCOME TO BRA QUEEN xxMy Profile

  • Amanda Smyth , Direct link to comment

    How exciting Jane – I had the same problem after my first baby and I *really* could have done with some professional help (of any kind!)

  • Order Pur Essence , Direct link to comment

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    But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure in regards to the
    Order Pur Essence recently posted…Order Pur EssenceMy Profile

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