Not waving, drowning.

November has been a really hard month for our family.

We have been in the process of moving house, our family car died, we experienced a crisis with a family member, another family member has become quite ill.

I had further laser therapy on my eye, with the specialist admitting that it was not guaranteed to work, and could cause more damage than good.

My daughter has continued to be assessed for autism, with the final report from the psychologist next week. My impression from the last appointment is to prepare ourselves for a diagnosis.

We are exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious. Each day seems to bring a new stress. Our finances are stretched to the limit, paying double rent for the last month of our lease, and all the added costs of moving house.

I’ve had so many ideas for blog posts, but when I finally have time to myself, the urge to just lie down and close my eyes outweighs the urge to write.

We are just treading water, getting through each day.

The end is in sight, we will be completely done with the old house by the start of next week. Thanks to a very generous loan from a family member, we will have a new/old car by the end of the week. By the end of next week, we will have a better idea of what is going on with Milla, and how we can help her.

We just have to get through November, and then some of our load will lighten.

For all my moaning, there have been some happy moments in this blasted month. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary yesterday. I would be completely lost without him, he is my best friend.

I had my first post published on The Bub Hub website, so that was very exciting.

Still, the overwhelming pressure is weighing me down. It’s hard to keep my head above water, when it feels like I am drowning. I just need a moment; to catch my breath, to regroup.

It will come. Until then, I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing what has to be done. Just keep walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel. xx

08 comments on “Not waving, drowning.

  • Mother Down Under , Direct link to comment

    Sometimes it does all seem like too much doesn’t it.
    Our family has totally been in a similar situation…different elements of course but same general feeling.
    But you are right…you will get through it.
    Reassuring myself that soon all of the terribleness will be a just memory always made me feel a bit better.
    And sure enough, now I can’t remember what it felt like when too many things came crashing down on us.
    Only a few more days left in November! You can do it!

    And PS happy anniversary!

  • Kelly , Direct link to comment

    Keep strong I know how you feel we had all that happen when Taiy was undergoing diagnoses and this year my youngest has been undergoing diagnose and my eldest more allergies testing I’ve been ill several times we are building and stressed I sometimes wake up and wonder how I will get thru the day xxxxx I don’t even want to do Xmas this year I know I know I sound like a crunch hahaha xxxxx keep strong us mummy’s have to stick together xxxxxx big hugs xxxxx

  • Andrea - mum behind the box , Direct link to comment

    Hang in there we will all be here when you find your space again. Until then I find sending myself texts or emails with blog ideas works to help sort out thoughts.
    I have also been know to rant to myself email or have a little victory speech. Being a recovering PND, anxiety suffer I also find sitting down and typing out all the things going on in my head helps. Not only does it help me but my hubby can then support me and understand why I can’t get it all out in coherent sentences.

  • Elephant's Child , Direct link to comment

    As one who has gone under for the third time, my heart goes out to you. You and I are stronger than we know and we will get through this. Be kind to yourself. I am and will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

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