Things I Know ~ Fighters Keep Fighting. ?>

Things I Know ~ Fighters Keep Fighting.

I am linking up with Dorothy from Singular Insanity this week, for “Things I Know”.

 

I know I have an amazing daughter. She is beautiful and funny and smart. She was born fighting, at 32 weeks, and is about to turn two years old next month. She has always been slightly delayed, particularly in her gross motor and language skills, but I never doubted she would catch up. She is a whirlwind of a child, always on the go. She can switch from happy to sad and back to happy again within minutes. She has little quirky behaviours, some of which make me laugh and some that make me tear my hair out. She charms everyone who meets her, and she knows it. She is perfect, to me.

I know that last month the paediatrician told us that she can see autistic traits in our daughter. That we should get her assessed, sooner rather than later. Last week we took her to the speech pathologist. I was worried, nervous, but I think deep down I really thought we would get told not to worry, that it was just a language delay. Instead we were given a referral to take her to a psychologist, for further assessment.

I know that I am really pissed off. I’m angry at the world, and I want to rage, to scream, DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, LEAVE HER ALONE. I have fought so damn hard to be a better person, to get my shit together, to give my daughter a normal life. I want her to have every opportunity in the world. I want her to grow up believing in herself, I never want her to feel small, and not worthy, like I did for so much of my life. I want to protect her, to take all of life’s punches in her place. Take my sight, take my ability to have more children, tie that bloody Black Dog to my front gate. I’ll fight it all, but leave her alone.

I know that we have a long road ahead of us. Specialists, assessments, reports. A diagnosis probably wont be made for at least a year. It could be argued that at two years old, she is too young to come to any definitive conclusion. So we just take each day as it comes, put one foot in front of the other, try to ignore the ‘What if’s’ and just focus on the ‘Today’.

I know that whatever the future brings, she will always be my baby girl, my Mooie. She will always be perfect to me. I will love her fiercely, adore her, be in awe of the miracle she is. I know whatever hurdles we are faced with, we will fight them. We are fighters, and fighters never stop fighting.

These are the things I know.

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21 thoughts on “Things I Know ~ Fighters Keep Fighting.

  1. I have some idea of where you are coming from right now. My 2 eldest kids are on the autism spectrum and I wanted to fight the world and rage against everything when we first travelled that road with their diagnoses. I hope you can get some answers, whatever they end up being, so you can give her the early intervention she may need to continue to be the beautiful fighter that she is. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you just want to vent about anything and feel free to sticky beak about my blog as I have written a few posts about dealing with a diagnosis and where to go from there. Take care, Kirsty.
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Fighting the Good FightMy Profile

  2. I am sure the feelings you’re having are all very natural and normal for someone who’s been given the news you’ve had. And once that idea is planted it must be very difficult to take it day to day. She is and always will be your baby girl and she IS perfect, just as she is, no matter what happens. And you sound like an amazing mum, so she’s already one step ahead of the game. Sending you love and strength.
    Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted…Things I Know : The Starting School EditionMy Profile

  3. Goodluck with everything. The only advice that I have is that if you treat her normal everybody will take your lead and she will be normal to all. At 6 weeks our 2nd daughter was diagnosed with a heart condition and then at 18months as dairy and lactose intolerant. The first 18 months of her life were spent screaming in pain and nobody could tell me what it was. It was the hardest 18 months of our lives. It has now been 5 years of fighting the world to treat my little girl normal. We have her intolerance under control and she had heart surgery this year. I too fight the Black Dog. Keep fighting no matter what she will love you always for it and the bond that you will build will all be worth it. Sending positive vibes your way.

      1. Thankfully no further surgery. We have had a rough road but the moral to my story is always treat her like you want others to treat her and no matter what always keep fighting.

  4. You’re right, she will always be the same to you. She may, or may not, wear a label for the outside world, a label which may help her access services and support that she may not have otherwise received.

    But you will still give her all the things you planned, she will still believe she is special and can do anything she wants. She will always be perfect.

    Thanks for linking up with Things I Know :-)
    Dorothy @ Singular Insanity recently posted…Things I Know – How Not to Take Part in a LinkyMy Profile

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    Auravie Skin Care recently posted…Auravie Skin CareMy Profile

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