When I was a few weeks pregnant with Milla, I joined my very first internet forum. I was not particularly ‘tech-savy’, and didn’t really know what I was doing. I didn’t understand the abbreviations, didn’t know how to upload a profile picture. I had been told by a friend that joining a ‘birth club’ (an online group of women, who’s babies are all due in the same month as mine) would be great for me, a wonderful way to make some friends who were sharing the same journey as me, at the same time. I am still friends with most of those women, and have met a few of them in real life, over two years later.
One of those mum’s wrote a ‘blog’. I had never read a blog before, barely knew what that word even meant. I was inspired by her words, her courage in sharing her journey with the big wide world. I wondered if I could do that? I had always enjoyed writing, and I certainly had a lot to share. Would people actually want to read it? I doubted it. Perhaps some of my friends would be interested though? Particularly the new ones I had met online. They knew so little about me really, what could it hurt, to share a little of my life?
I shared my posts on my Facebook profile, but worried about cluttering up the newsfeed of everyone else, so I started a Facebook page, so those friends who were interested could read my thoughts, my story. That was twelve months ago, and I never imagined the beautiful community I have now, would develop.
I thought tonight, on the eve of the first birthday of The Hesitant Housewife page, I would share all that I have learned, in the first twelve months.
* I am not alone. So many people have battled depression. Some are still fighting, some have come through the other side. People have shared their stories with me, shared their struggles. I am eternally grateful for that. Depression is such a long, and dark road, I have felt you all beside me, in my darkest days.
*Mother’s in general, are so hard on ourselves. We all share the same doubts, the same insecurities. We all love our children, and so desperately want the best for them, we beat ourselves up every day, trying to obtain perfection in our parenting.
*Many of us feel we have lost a sense of ourselves, since becoming a parent. We feel lost, and struggle for this new identity, how to mesh the new with the old, how to move forward in our new role, without letting go completely of the old.
*If I put someone on a pedestal, they will fall. It’s inevitable.
*The life that people portray online, is sometimes just what they want others to see.
*Some people hide behind the computer screen, and become ‘keyboard cowboys’ spewing insults online that they would never have the gall to say to someone’s face.
*Bullying is alive and well. It’s naive to think I have left behind the bitchiness in high-school, there will always be cliques, backstabbing, and people willing to blow out other peoples candles, to make their own brighter.
*It is possible to find lifelong friends, kindred spirits, sisters, in people I have never met, and possibly never will. It doesn’t make their friendship any less real, the fact that they will support me, and back me, through anything, is a testament to their character, and my own.
*I have something to say, and there are people out there that want to hear it.
*A blog is a medium to make contact and connections with people who may never have crossed my path otherwise.
*I am blessed, and so grateful, to be part of such an amazing community. I have never received anything but encouragement, support and positivity from anyone who has interacted with me, both here on my blog, and over on my Facebook page.
Thank you, all of you, who have taken the time to read my words, to comment, to join me on this journey. It is all so appreciated, and I have learned so much in just twelve months. THANK YOU. Onwards and upwards! xx