What I Have Learned.

When I was a few weeks pregnant with Milla, I joined my very first internet forum. I was not particularly ‘tech-savy’, and didn’t really know what I was doing. I didn’t understand the abbreviations, didn’t know how to upload a profile picture. I had been told by a friend that joining a ‘birth club’ (an online group of women, who’s babies are all due in the same month as mine) would be great for me, a wonderful way to make some friends who were sharing the same journey as me, at the same time. I am still friends with most of those women, and have met a few of them in real life, over two years later.

One of those mum’s wrote a ‘blog’. I had never read a blog before, barely knew what that word even meant. I was inspired by her words, her courage in sharing her journey with the big wide world. I wondered if I could do that? I had always enjoyed writing, and I certainly had a lot to share. Would people actually want to read it? I doubted it. Perhaps some of my friends would be interested though? Particularly the new ones I had met online. They knew so little about me really, what could it hurt, to share a little of my life?

I shared my posts on my Facebook profile, but worried about cluttering up the newsfeed of everyone else, so I started a Facebook page, so those friends who were interested could read my thoughts, my story. That was twelve months ago, and I never imagined the beautiful community I have now, would develop.
I thought tonight, on the eve of the first birthday of The Hesitant Housewife page, I would share all that I have learned, in the first twelve months.

* I am not alone. So many people have battled depression. Some are still fighting, some have come through the other side. People have shared their stories with me, shared their struggles. I am eternally grateful for that. Depression is such a long, and dark road, I have felt you all beside me, in my darkest days.

*Mother’s in general, are so hard on ourselves. We all share the same doubts, the same insecurities. We all love our children, and so desperately want the best for them, we beat ourselves up every day, trying to obtain perfection in our parenting.

*Many of us feel we have lost a sense of ourselves, since becoming a parent. We feel lost, and struggle for this new identity, how to mesh the new with the old, how to move forward in our new role, without letting go completely of the old.

*If I put someone on a pedestal, they will fall. It’s inevitable.

*The life that people portray online, is sometimes just what they want others to see.

*Some people hide behind the computer screen, and become ‘keyboard cowboys’ spewing insults online that they would never have the gall to say to someone’s face.

*Bullying is alive and well. It’s naive to think I have left behind the bitchiness in high-school, there will always be cliques, backstabbing, and people willing to blow out other peoples candles, to make their own brighter.

*It is possible to find lifelong friends, kindred spirits, sisters, in people I have never met, and possibly never will. It doesn’t make their friendship any less real, the fact that they will support me, and back me, through anything, is a testament to their character, and my own.

*I have something to say, and there are people out there that want to hear it.

*A blog is a medium to make contact and connections with people who may never have crossed my path otherwise.

*I am blessed, and so grateful, to be part of such an amazing community. I have never received anything but encouragement, support and positivity from anyone who has interacted with me, both here on my blog, and over on my Facebook page.

Thank you, all of you, who have taken the time to read my words, to comment, to join me on this journey. It is all so appreciated, and I have learned so much in just twelve months. THANK YOU. Onwards and upwards! xx

32 comments on “What I Have Learned.

  • Alicia , Direct link to comment

    Congratulations on your anniversary for your blog, I have enjoyed reading your posts, and look forward to reading more from you in the future.
    You are a lovely lady, beautiful spirit, and I wish you the best in your blogging and life endevours xoox Alicia

  • Divine-Sister , Direct link to comment

    I, for one, feel so blessed that our paths crossed and that I can call you my friend. The fact that I am on the other side of the world means nothing, it doesn’t make our friendship any less real. It makes it a miracle ;) You, my friend, are a loving, caring, strong and devoted woman. This last year, watching you create and develop The Hesitant Housewife has been extraordinary, and I am so so proud of you! Congratulations on your first year….may there be many many more to come <3 xxx

    • Hesitant Housewife , Direct link to comment

      Oh my beautiful friend, your comment made me tear up a little! Love you, I promise we will get to meet in person, one day. Until then, you will always be my Divine Sister!! xx

  • Sue Gellmann , Direct link to comment

    Congratulations on a wonderful achievement~We are all so different yet so much the same~very comforting to know we are never alone.Best wishes oxo

    • Hesitant Housewife , Direct link to comment

      Thanks Deb! I can’t believe it’s been a year for both of us all ready! Seems like only last week you were telling me about your new website you were about to start! Cheers to twelve months! :) xx

  • Twitchy , Direct link to comment

    Happy Blogoversary! You do indeed learn a lot in your first year. Particularly in the first few months and your first conference is a headspin… :)

  • Elephant's Child , Direct link to comment

    Happy blogobirthday. You have expressed so many of the feelings that I also have.
    I was/am surprised that people seem to enjoy what I write (and the photos I share). I have made so many friends and feel cherished and valued. And what girl doesn’t relish those feelings. And when times are tough the support is incredible. Yay the blogosphere. A place of magic.

  • Abigail Shepherd , Direct link to comment

    Congratulations and thank you for your wise words. I’m learning pretty much the same through my own blog and my experiences on Facebook, even though I’m a blog virgin (started in March) compared to yourself. Love reading your posts. Keep them coming.

  • ang , Direct link to comment

    Hello! Linking up from Flash Blog Friday! What a fantastic post – happy blogaversary!! I hope you’ll come visit me at jugglingactmama.blogspot.com

  • Annaleis , Direct link to comment

    Congratulations Jane We do want to read your words and listen to your story. Love that you started a blog and share with us xx

  • Janine @ Shambolic Living , Direct link to comment

    And now you have a second anniversary coming up. The online world brings out the best (and the worst) in people. I love the connections made with people right around the world and I’m very grateful that the trolls haven’t discovered my little space! Well done on your great blog.

  • Toni , Direct link to comment

    I love this Jane. Ive been blogging for just over a year now and I agree with so many of your points. Im about to become a mum too so agree with the parenting points too. Glad I found your blog.

    • Carli , Direct link to comment

      i have some html background. pls do tell me the steps or if yo28u&#17;re so kind enough you can help me do it. and uhmmm i just want to launch it free from costs. thanks!!!

  • Dorothy , Direct link to comment

    I’ve been blogging for nearly five years now and the lessons I’ve learnt are very much the same as yours. The best thing to do is write for yourself, enjoy the process and ignore the trolls.

  • Allison Tait , Direct link to comment

    I see that you two-year anniversary is almost upon you! Thanks for Rewinding.

  • Michaela Fox , Direct link to comment

    I am very happy to have come across your blog via The Rewind. Congratulations on the success of your blog. I have been blogging for about 10 months and my story is very similar to yours. I love writing and sharing my thoughts on my blog but it requires a huge commitment and dedication and so I am full of admiration for people, such as yourself, who have successfully maintained a blog and created a community around it. Well done, and I love your writing style :-)

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